If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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