she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize