The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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