A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You dont lie about slip and slides
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i believe in u and ur pee
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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