you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize