I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize