I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
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I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
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We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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