from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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