Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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