Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
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he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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