I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize