Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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