Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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