you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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