God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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