The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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