We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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