I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So vagazzling was a success
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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