This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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