as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
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why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
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