Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
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just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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