Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize