Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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