note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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