i need an iv and a liver transplant
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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