Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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