We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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