his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
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Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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