so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
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he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
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Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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