I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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