Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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