She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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