dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize