sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
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i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
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When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize