so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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