4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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