Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize