Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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