I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize