Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Two words: nipple clamps
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