I wanna passion pit in your ass
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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