This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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