She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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