We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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