After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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