So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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