You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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