a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize