she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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