Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Boobs are out for the taking
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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